Cliff Springs


Favorite TV Show: The Simpsons

Favorite Movie: Raiders of the Lost Ark

Memorable Quote: “This looks like a job for Golden Helmet!” (Burt Reynolds in Hooper)


Cliff Springs was born to immigrant parents from the armoires of Narnia. At the age of 6, he grew his first beard, securing him a recurring role as Sherlock Holmes on PBS. His instant fame led him to travel the world searching for innovative methods of harvesting soy. It was there in the annals of the Byzantine morgue that he discovered his true calling: shadow puppet master. To this day, he enjoys soothing bovine beasts with the serene sounds of the harmonica.

He also likes the Gamecocks.